The Pep Talk - Melbourne Style

And remember kids, when push comes to shove...

Family Advice

So i asked a family member for advice, I actually asked for someone to give advice, they had no idea of the subject yet, and upon being asked this was there response. (And you people wonder where I get it from?!)

10 Life changing events that would cause Jared to want my highly unqualified advice:

1. Jared is gay.
2. Jared found an alien crash site in LA that looks very similar to a Fry Electronic store but has great deals on Garmin GPS devices.
3. Jared found the cure for AIDs and coincidentally, it involves fucking a Koala Bear.
4. Jared's long lost great uncle 4 times removed has died and left him a lot of money and he wants to me pay me to be his traveling Kabbalah Guru. (First leasson: Kabbalah spelled backwards is Hola Back, which kinda WOULD make Gwen Stephani a "Hola Back" girl)
5. Jared is a fish.
6. Jared found out his real father is Anthony Lane and has decided to make a career move to Broadway in a musical adaptation of Shindlers List... scenario #1 also applies here.
7. Jared wants to talk about how Jesus Christ is his Lord and Savior and ask if Ive invited him into my heart .... and then ask to borrow money to spread his word. (and Hep C)
8. Jared likes Fishsticks and therefore is a gay fish, see #1 and #5.
9. Jared's Jewish and in love with Shia LaBeouf, see #6.
10. Jared has proof that Chemtrails are a conspiracy to prevent the Chicago Cubs from ever winning the World Series.

So here we are, back in oh so sunny Melbourne which, coincidentally, is the H1N1 Capitol of Australia. Now to some I can see where they might worry, "It doesn't sound like a positive move Jared" I can hear them say. Que sera really. Having already been in the presence of said virus and coming out clean I am not too worried.

Besides.

Let's be honest, I think there are a few bigger problems swirling in the foothills. You know I remember turning 30 and asking friends at the time what the 30's would be like. Most everyone agreed that 31 was a wretched year. Hmmmm, I think I will agree. Its never going to be easy in the russian roulette with a potato canon kinda life I lead but usually there are a few less stressful moments. Bring them back I say! Where are he good old days, when are we moving back up to the east side?!

Website Of The Week <-right here

Oh Snap! You know I have free time, I mean really I do. No, REALLY. But sometimes you see things and you KNOW that no matter how much free time you have, no matter how creative you are, you would have never, EVER, come up with something like this. It makes you wonder how some people get paid, or conversely, shows you how some people never get laid. Regardless, this weeks site comes from the good folks at bestweekever.tv. Might I suggest you pay close attention to number 24 as he could be my next traveling partner, or possible wedding present, or poster animal for the next "Minnesota War On Canada". Either way, I hope you enjoy the shots.... I would never have "that much time" to take!

"I didn't choose life, I chose something else." ---Trainspotting---

It appears that all parties are go! Madness to ensue for those of you on the east coast as a one night only exhibition is in the works for may in the great beer guzzling town of Knoxville, TN. We are looking at an Australian vs. the United States in a tag team photo mania match. Should be good fun all around, artists on the night would be Bobbi Fabian, Sara Blair, Nick Dale and myself. Stay tuned for more details as it will be a throw down no holds barred east coast mayhem!

Perth by Night

Let's Start Anew

It's time for a "freshjive" I must say. My apologies for the absence. Let's say it was a learning curve, the balance of those who read versus how much of one's self you can actually unload without it being misconstrued or upsetting. The point has always been more of a public speaking forum than an actual place to get at or discuss specific people. So, on with program.

Are you shitting me?! I mean come on folks, I just took a walk through Sydney CBD and there were an insane amount of people looking for coins on street corners. I think to myself that this is nuts as I sit in a country that is constantly making it's citizens aware of the fact that they are fairing the financial issues better than most.

Maybe we are?! I, by no means, am a financial wizard.

I have a hard enough time coming to grips with sitting still... much less a "Global Financial Crisis". Thank god I have a fair amount of mates working in the sector that they do help explain a few of these dodgy dealings to me. So, in the midst of all this it might be time to say screw it.

Recently back from a fairly eventful trip from Perth and a death defying trip to Melbourne. It was good to get away, not that I really had anything to get away from, just felt better being somewhere else. I guess it is a problem I have always had really. There will be more images to follow as I did get out and about a little.... that is until I contracted the worst flu like virus I have had in years just 2 days before set to leave for Melbs. Needless to say I spent the whole time on the couch there drugged up trying to get through the crack head shakes it was giving me.

On the upside I rode a slick leather couch, compliments of Mr. Creber, right through my first earthquake. I have ben through them before but have never been awake or able to feel them. I must say it was pretty rad but left me questioning if I was crazy as Melbs was the last place I expected to be in an earthquake!

So that's the scoop, maybe I can get this blog sorted out now, get on track... wait, I don't run. No tracks will be involved in the making of this blog. That is, unless, I find myself on a train soon. Who knows?!