Stan Getz Had It.

The question is where did it come from? I have spent the day walking around this city trying to muster up the conviction to believe that what I was doing was actually some form of job hunting. I know it was, I just find it hard to convince myself. All my life I have walked to find the answers but more importantly I have found that if you walk you end up in more of the right places at the right times.

And then there are days like this where no amount of walking will relinquish any answers, clues, or even a small hint as to what in the hell you are actually supposed to be doing with yourself. Overcast was not only the sky. So I turn to good old Stan Getz to ease the malaise I find myself in.

Settling down, most likely, was never meant to be easy. I just don't think people talk about that part of it, especially not in some kind of infomercial way while having pints at the pub. I can hear myself now, "I walked for days and days, the city was like a vast desert wasteland I couldn't over come. And then it hit me!" Who tells stories like that?! Most likely me when I am older and more of a wanker than currently prescribed to be.

I spent a lot of times, good and bad, walking the world's streets looking for some kind of resolution to something. One time in Singapore I was slightly tipsy, my good mate Jason and I heading down these little lane ways onto our next adventure. For some reason a 7-11 was calling my name. Amidst the laughter I stepped in for what was most likely a tobacco related purchase. (what goes better with alcohol?!) The song playing inside then hit me like a bamboo rod someone had been holding back waiting to let go of just for me. Another memory dredged up of something gone wrong long ago. While it didn't ruin the night it did however mean that this memory would be stuck with me for the evening, ready to reappear the minute the conversation went quiet, the glass empty, or the queue at the bar was just 30 seconds longer than I wished. I still can't shake that memory.

Moments like this where nothing is really wrong, just a bit intangible and confusing like a coarse memory, that is today. There is always tomorrow right? Maybe tomorrow I'll be more settled. Maybe tomorrow I'll be employed. Or maybe I'll just have an even deeper grasp of the subtle nuances of daytime programing.